This past weekend, Kristen, Doreen and I took the Honda Civic down to NYC to visit Kimberly. We drove down Saturday, arriving at around noon.

We stayed through Sunday afternoon and left to come back to New England at about 5:30pm Sunday evening.

In those two days, we tooled around the city and saw quite a number of things......and all the while ate at some simply wonderful places.

I totally forget the names of all the places.....and also the kind of food, but it was really great.

Our first lunch was at a place with an outdoor room tucked in the back of the place. I think I had a Salmon quiche of some sort that was absolutely wonderful to eat. The combination of great food, and eating in the warm New York sun made it an absolutely wonderful experience.

We saw Brooklyn block parties on both days.....both ethnic in nature and with lots of music and culture. (and there I was on Saturday....without a camera having left it in the car in the hotel garage!)

On Sunday we went to Kim's office in at Clinique and I have to say it is just a wonderful facility and office! I am so proud of my big girl and the wok she is doing....it makes me proud!

The office is in the GM Building, up on I think the 37th floor. The views of NYC are just outstanding, and the office itself is wonderful to look at....just as you would expect a design firm to be. The physical facility is a sight to see, but the artwork placed all around the place is just shorty of outstanding!

It lines the walls, and greets you just inside all the doorways. But the coolest thing are all the paintings that are hung in the stairways between floors....there are hundreds of paintings that have been done from some pretty famous artists. Kimberly tells me that one of the company owners collects it, and leaves it there where people can ask for pieces be hung in employee offices. (we walked up two flights of stairs and saw perhaps 30 pieces of artwork)

Down in the basement of the GM building is the NYC Apple Store. It is a big glass building the juts out of the ground and into the air...inviting people in. Inside, it is probably just like the Apple store in Burlington....but that outside glass building makes for a wonderful eye catching beacon that calls people in!

Saturday evening, Kristen went back to Kim's dorm to stay with Kim, and Doreen and I went over to the Brooklyn Heights Promanade, a wonderful sort of cement park that overlooks Manhattan....a wonderful view at sunset. (more on that in my next post)

Again....still no camera!

That night, Doreen and I stayed at the Nu Hotel in Brooklyn. It is a pretty modern hotel with very contemporary furnishings and color schemes. The place seemed to have the feel of a place that was perhaps designed by a Pratt Institute Student. It had very dark hallways that gave way to very bright (white) walls in the rooms.

The bathroom even came with a vertical chalk board that could be decorated by custom artwork. (which Kim and Kristen did do)

Sunday morning came and we sort of slept late....getting together just about in time for lunch....and a nice lunch indeed, at a Thai place in Brooklyn. Kim didn't think it was authentic Thai, but it was darn good either way.

After lunch, we went to a South Street Seaport, which was a lot like Quincy Market in Boston, except it was right on the river with wonderful views of the other part of the city.

After all that fun for those two days, my legs were exhausted! We packed into the car and drove home....and let me tell you, I was tired. I am just not as young as I used to be....but even so, it was a great weekend

The weather was sunny and wonderful.....the traffic down and back was very tolerable, and we ended up at Doreen's at maybe 10:30pm, and the Kristen and I in Litchfield at about 11:00pm.

I slept well.....it was a great weekend, and as I said before....I am so proud and happy for Kim.

Current Mood: bouncy

Kristen and I loaded up the Jeep and took off for a 17 hour drive to Knoxville Tennessee (home town of Quentin Tarentino) where we set her up in a hotel and took a tour of the Knoxville area. (and of the University of Tennessee at Knoxville, Kristen's school)

Our ride was a good one, though it was HOT down in Tennessee. We drove through NH, Mass, Ct, NY, Va, W. Va and Tennessee. (I don't think I missed any place)

For me, it was the first time I had been in West Virginia and Tennessee....and I have to tell you, the sections of West Virginia we drove through were beautiful.

Tennessee is also beautiful too. I think I like Knoxville too, it is a small city.....larger than Nashua, and reminding me a bit of Manchester, though perhaps larger. (certainly larger in area since it seems to go off in every directions for miles.)



We left a little late at about 6:30am and arrived at the Knoxville Hostel at about midnight. Mapquest has talked about a 15 hour commute, but I figured 17 hours because we had to stop for gas and bio-breaks.

Well, at about the half-way point, I calculated that we were on an 18 hour clip....but it turned out that we did get there in 17 hours....probably because NYC was so congested....the the 2nd half of the ride was at night in the mountains.....so in the second half of the ride I was able to ride a little faster than the 2st half.

The trip itself was good...Kristen and I talked a lot...and believe it or not, the radio was not on very much.

We talked about all kinds of things, and we caught up on a lot. We went through every range of emotion too....it was a very worthwhile ride.

When we arrived at the Hostel, the person there was so very nice to us. He had waited up for us to get there and greeted us. I must say that it was a very nice, warm and inviting place, and such a great deal at $17 per night. But I didn't find the neighborhood to be so great......and since I was going to be going back home to help Kimberly off to NYC....I moved Kristen to an inexpensive hotel closer to the school that was in a better neighborhood. The Executive Inn isn't anything to write home about, and at $49.00 per night it is a fair bit more expensive than the $17 per night, but I didn't see burned out buildings and people drinking on the street corners.

Kristen is renting an apartment at Knoxville Place, an apartment complex right next to the school. It is a beautiful facility indeed.....and her room is almost brand new and only about $440 a month! Oh is it nice too.....and only between one and 5 blocks from where she thinks her classes will be. (she has not registered for classes yet, so that is all up in the air)

We happened into Knoxville when they were having record high temperatures.....the temperature reached 100 degrees and it was humid! We had no AC in the Jeep, so driving around the area was a chore....but even with this, I enjoyed it because Knoxville looks to be a pretty nice place and only miles away from farms and country. Outside the city there were cows and corn as far as the eye can see....and some nice rolling hills to drive through.

The City of Knoxville itself was apparently the site of the 1982 Worlds Fair and the Park, Convention Center and some of the other structures built for it are still ever present. We didn't walk around the Worlds Fair site because of the heat....but this is one area I want to walk when I go back next.

We drove in several directions to get a better lay of the land, and it was clear that the University of Tennessee is a big part of Knoxville because it actually resides in one of the best part of town....and the school campus itself is so large that it is a substantial part of the city.

I would estimate that the campus is about 1.5 miles long and maybe 1/2 of a mile wide. I would hate to think of finishing a class on one side of the campus and having to run to a next class across campus.

At the end of the day Thursday, Kristen took me to the airport and I slept there over night and took a 6:30am flight back to Boston. (It made no sense to get Kristen up at say 4:00am (after such a long trip) especially since I could just sleep at the airport.)

My trip back was OK....nothing unusual. (good or bad)

Nest leg of my adventure.....taking Kim to Brooklyn to move into her new apartment! (that starts tomorrow)

Current Mood: cheerful

We made it here....and we have spent the first night. It is a nice place though it is a bit off the beaten path. (well, it is actually right on the path itself....directly next to the highway, so it is a bit loud with traffic noise)

But it is a very nice place indeed...and the people we have met so far have been great.

I will continue to chirp away on Twitter and post Cell Phone BLOG entries as I find time. I will also try to take pictures with my camera...something I have not yet done thus far.



As with yesterday, I will NOT have a computer with me....but I will try to keep my journey progress updated on my Mobile Cell-Phone BLOG at:
                http://qjl-mobile.blogspot.com/

Note also that I have a TWITTER text stream there too....I will try to post text to my TWITTER and small photos to the Cell Phone Mobile BLOG.

Here is my Twitter Stream below:
(no need to go to Twitter)</div>
[Error: close lj-embed tag without open tag]

Current Mood: excited

Going to Ct. for a month is one thing....but driving from NH to Tennessee is a totally different matter.

I thought my AMEX card offered Roadside Assistance...and it did, but only for the primary card holder! Yikes.....nothing for Kristen and her Jeep in Tennessee.

So I went on a search tonight....to find her Roadside Assistance.

I actually think it is available from our Insurance Company....but I wasn't sure, and as I searched the web I saw a lot of things that worried me.

For example.....we all think of AAA....and Cheryl and I used to be members way back when. But back them they had a 100 mile tow range....right now it is down to 5 miles!

What good is 5 miles?

So I looked at other clubs....and I chose a place called Autoclub. It seemed to have the best coverage...at least for two people. (longer towing than my insurance company, though they would have covered up to 4 people in the house for the same money)

Current Mood: chipper

I was in down in the cafeteria today when I bumped into the Sun Microsystems Operations Program Manager for the program I am currently assigned to ...and we started talking about my trip to Guadalajara....and I told him I was not going next week with my manager.

I mentioned that I was taking my daughter Kristen to school in University of Tennessee in Knoxville.....his eyes widened and I could almost see his heart-rate go up! :-)

It seemed as though he might have either been very familiar with the University of Tennessee or perhaps he came from Tennessee, I am not sure. But he was very excited about UTK.

He told me I had to get tickets to a UTK football game, because it was the greatest experience I will ever have in life. (quite a statement.....and I'm not a huge football fan.)

So.....I maybe Tennessee football is so exciting that I will become a rabid fan.....I'm not sure.

But it is clear to me....it is a small world.....there are UTK fans all over....even on the project team I am on. Life is funny.....isn't it??!!

Current Mood: cheerful

I can't believe how fast life goes by. It seems like only yesterday that Cheryl and I were thinking about having a second child....and before we knew it we had Kristen. (and Kristen was such an easy birth for Cheryl....we literally got to the hospital and she was born within 5 minutes!)

Today Kristen turns 19 years old....wow, such a mature and beautiful woman too. Cheryl and I were always so proud of both of our daughters, and we both felt so lucky to have been blessed with them. I continue to be proud of them both, and I know I will try my best to make sure I support their efforts in life. (without cramping their style or any undesired meddling in their life)

Kristen is down in CT right now....at summer school doing Archeology. (involved in a dig) She is doing what she loves on her birthday, and that makes me feel good I suppose. I do miss having her here so I could give her a big hug and kiss.....maybe make her breakfast in bed.....just plain do something special for her on such an important day.

In less than a month, Kristen and I will be traveling over to Tennessee where she will be transfering to the University of Tennessee at Knoxville. It is a fairly long ride...about 15 hours straight, and I think she is very excited to do it. I know that that ride is not too far in the future, and that we will have plenty of time together, but I do wish she were here right now.

At this point I have only gotten her a card. She is a very practical woman, and doesn't want people spending money on things that are of no value. I promised her I would buy her some school and work clothing when she came back from her dig. I would just go out and get it now, but I don't know her sizes or her preferences.

Intermixed in this post are many photos of Kristen taken over the years.....I hope you enjoy them because I certainly do. I love both my daughters, and wish them both nothing but the best in life.

So Happy Birthday Kristen.....I love you more than you know.

Love,
-Dad





































































































































































































































































































































  I love you Kristen!

Current Mood: happy

Well, after double checking with the girls and marking out my calendar, I went to see my boss about my scheduling problem.

Lucky for me I work at such an awsome company with such a great supervisor because his first words were "Family first".

My trip to Guadalajara has been defered for now. (I will go on a follow-up mission to address any shortcomings they find on this visit.)

This makes my planning a lot easier, and gives me more time at home too. (I'm happy about that myself)

I still have to get a flight booked, and rent a UHaul truck to go to NYC...but I think I can do that between today and Friday. Once I get all the travel details ironed out and written down.

Pretty good....pretty lucky if you ask me. I thank God for the life I have been given.....it's pretty darn good if you ask me.

Current Mood: grateful

I spoke to Kristen this morning, and we caught up on all the normal stuff.....and part of that "normal stuff" was that she again stood in the midnight line down in Ct. for the latest Harry potter book...took it home (to her dorm at summer school) and proceeded to read all night long until she finished it!

I am sitting here holding the 758 page Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows book I bought for Kimberly, and wondering how long I would take to read it.....I certainly admire Kim, Kristen and Cheryl for all being able to sit down with it and read it in one seating. (over many hours)

The four of us used to stand in line at Barnes and Noble or Borders and buy two books.....as I recall, Kim and Kristen would read, read, read....and when the first finished, their book was passed to Cheryl....who would devour the book in much the same way.

I am sorry to say I have not read a word of the 7 Potter books...and I feel a bit left out at times....but that aside, I am still ever amazed as how our girls love to read. I'm happy they took after their mother (and grandfather Lewis) in this regard!

BTW: Here is some more Harry Potter in the form of a video trailer.

Current Mood: excited

KRISTEN MAKES IT TO SCHOOL AND HER DORM:
Kristen emailed me last night and told me she was not only at school, but through the orientation and I guess at her sleeping space. She is living in a house with 4 girls and one bathroom. So far she said the food was fantastic!

She even went out to a store to get some more bug repellent because it sounds as though they are digging in a deep woods conditions very close to Lyme, Ct. (Famous for Lyme Disease)

I think she said she appeared to be the youngest in the class so far, with the next youngest being 20 years old. (Kristen will be 19 on July 26th, while she is in class there)






KIMBERLY IS HALF WAY TO COPENHAGEN:
Kimberly posted a BLOG ENTRY to a BLOG she set-up to talk about her daily activities on the road. She has made it to Iceland, and was very excited to have a window seat on the Boston to Iceland flight....


Next stop, Copenhagen! (keep an eye on her BLOG for more details as they come)

Current Mood: jubilant

KRISTEN HAS HER ROOM IN TENNESSEE:
As you probably know by now, Kristen has decided to transfer from Hofstra in NY to the University of Tennessee in Knoxville this coming semester. It is a very exciting change, and one she is psyched about.

We have been looking into the area, and trying to figure out what she will be doing in the area.

She is going to transfer her job at Target to a store near the school, and since she will be a bit more mobile in Tennessee because she will be driving her car to school.

The only thing that was still up on the air was housing. She had not been given dorm space because she was an upper classman, and they only guarantee housing to Freshman. We inquired about the odds of her getting a dorm, and the could only tell us that she was #49 on a waiting list for 14 dorm spots. They also noted that they probably would NOT be getting down to that spot on the list.

So we asked if they could recommend a place, and they were able to point us to Knoxville Place which is about a block from the school.

Knoxville Place seems like a great bargain to me. She is in a 4 bedroom dorm, that share two baths. (private bedrooms with doors though) The dorm cost is $475 per month, and this includes all utilities except phone and electricity. (and Kristen will use her cell phone) This includes cable TV, internet access, water, heat, etc....

This compares with $778 per month for Kim in Brooklyn...sans utilities.

Knoxville place has a pool, game room with xBox and Wii, fitness center, computer lab.... Kind of a nice looking place too.

Wow...southern schools really are the bargain we have been told they are!


THE GIRLS GO OFF TO SCHOOL:
Today Kimberly and Kristen went off to their summer classes. Kristen is down in New London, Ct at Connecticut College taking a Archaeolgy course. She will be gone until about the first week in August. Kimberly went off to Copenhagen Denmark to take several design classes.

Kristen drove down to Ct in her Jeep, and I took Kimberly to Logan Airport to catch her flight this morning. She was taking Icelandic Airlines to Copenhagen with a stop over in Iceland. Very cool trip indeed.


MEETUP GROUP CHAINSAW GARDEN PARTY:
The Nashua Friends Meetup group had an event today at a member Barbra's house that was billed as the Nashua Friends Chainsaw Garden Party. It was a friendly pot-luck lunch sort of event where friends got together to eat and help Barbara with some yard work....with the focal point work being chopping down a tree that was half falling.

We had a great time....and there was a potato salad contest. (that I did not enter)

I brought my Chainsaw and did chop down that tree.....we all planted some flowers, and we ate quite a bit as well.





MY MOM AND DAD ON TAPE:
Tonight I listened to a tape that my mother had obviously left for me. I found it after her death as I was cleaning out her house.

It is a cassette tape that was recorded of one of the fights my mother and father had. I'm not going to get into any details because I loved both of my parents, and don't really want to think about their fights over the years.....but let me just say that it clearly outlined my father's main flaw...one that many of you know because I have mentioned it. (but again....he has passed on, and there is no need to bring it up as he was really a good man with one major flaw)

So as I listened closely to the tape, I was trying my best to hear every word....which is tough because of the background music playing. I tried to again figure out why my mother left this for me. (I know it was left because these two tapes were wrapped together with two photos of the people there that day, and then put in a plastic bag in her dresser.)

Anyways....my only thought is that she wanted to remind me of what such a flaw might result in....sort of to make me think again about me doing things like that.

My parents used to ALWAYS tell me they were far from perfect....but that this was OK, because I could even learn to make myself better by examining from their faults. I guess that is a good way to look at things...and is probably the reason she left me the tapes.

I'm not sure my mother ever actually graduated High School, but she was truly a wise person!


PICKLES REPLACES BC COMIC STRIP IN NASHUA TELEGRAPH:News Alert before you can see it in the press......the Nashua Telegraph has announced the comic strip that will replace BC in a BLOG. The comic is Pickles!

Check out the BLOG for more details....and the Pickles Website for samples.

Current Mood: cheerful

Kimberly and Kristen were going through Cheryl's clothes, pulling out things to pass down or donate to a shelter, when they came across the dress to the left.

On this hanger, connected to the dress was a small envelope with the small note to the right. The note was a careful set of instructions for me to outfit Cheryl in this dress when she was buried. (and other instructions on giving the girls her jewlery which had come from her grand mother's wedding ring)

The note that was attached to the dress is found on the right, and I have to be honest and say that when I saw this note and realized that Cheryl's request had not been followed.....I was very, very sad. Kim and Kristen reminded me that the dress and note were way back at the rear of the closet, but I feel I somehow let Cheryl down in some small way.

Yes, yes...I know, it doesn't matter what kind of clothes you wear when you approach St Peter in Heaven..... (as my mother used to say)....."that isn't the time to worry about what you are wearing"....in fact at that point it is too late to even worry about what kind of life you led....you need to do that when you are alive!

This note was actually the second note left by Cheryl with instructions for us after her death. On the day of Cheryl's wake, Kimberly found four greeting cards Cheryl had written out to Kim, Kristen, Cheryl's Mother and me....and Kim found them in Cheryl's sock drawer only minutes before we went off to her wake.

I wrote about the card she wrote to me some time ago in a Journal entry because the cards seemed as though they were written only days before Cheryl's death, but she had actually written them back in 1998.

The cards were a calm, soothing set of instructions to each of us telling us how Cheryl loved us, that we all needed each other, and asking us to take care of ourselves and each other.

That card left for me can be seen below. Our finding these cards when we did seemed to me to be sort of a minor miracle!

It is easy to see that the card below is a love note.....Cheryl and I were in love, and while the marriage was far from perfect, it was a darn good one indeed. There is no sense in talking about trading things to get Cheryl back....the fact is that she is clearly in a better place.....a place that we all hope to end up ourselves.



My biggest hope is that she will continue to look down kindly on me now that she is up there. I hope that Cheryl, my parents and grandparents are all now living in the total grace of God and enjoying a just reward.....but knowing each of them, I suspect that if possible, they will be working to help their remaining living family (me and the girls) to navigate this thing we call life.

I pray that Cheryl will continue to watch and guide Kimberly and Kristen as they find their way through life....and I pray she guides me and lets me understand what I need to do to continue to love and support our daughters.


I pray that she forgives any and all things I might have done against her when she was alive.

God Bless you Cheryl.....

Current Mood: sad

Ok, so she isn't a military veteran, but I liked the graphic from the Columbia University website and I decided to liberate it for my one time use.

After a long discussion that touched on a whole myriad of reasons....Kristen and I have decided to go forward with a very laid-back and informal tour of some very good schools. The focus will be mainly on touring and gathering information and "the feel" of these schools and their local area....no decisions, no pressure, and no worries. (except perhaps for the weather, but that is really outside of our control...so no need to fret their either)

We agreed that at this point there is no point in worrying about the costs, or the height of the academic bar that needs to be scaled for entry or any other incidental issue because we are essentially going to get a calibration point. (Ok, perhaps several points)

We are approaching this almost as a vacation, and we are going to have fun. (as much fun as we can in the area around the schools too.....though we will see about that since I'm not known as a "fun" guy)

Given the fact that our decision to go is coming so late, we are a bit limited on how far we can go. So we also decided to focus mainly on Ivy League schools.....well, because these would probably be the most fun to visit and doing that will provide the upper end point in a sort of "two point calibration". (But that doesn't mean entry to ANY place is not possible....remember the basic rules we set-up for ourselves? I guess they sort of translate into the following: "Don't assume any answers to questions until you ask!" and "It's always free to look and investigate and you never know what you will get out of it.".......probably good rules for life's journey too.)

Our list of schools at this point include:

• Harvard
• Columbia
• Dartmouth
• UMass Amherst
• Georgetown

Current Mood: Plans in process

Now What am I doing?
Maybe it is my being an geeky Engineer type...or just a guy who seems to be a list maker....but I put a few thoughts together this morning and thought I would try an experiment on myself. (sorry to dissappoint some of you, there will be no high voltage electrodes or painful poking or prodding....and the results may be totally useless....so I warn you ahead of time! But consider this your last warning!!! :-)

Two things came to mind last night reading an online friend's BLOG. (you see I am not all that creative....I am much better at taking two other ideas and smashing them together into something new)

So this BLOG is about dreams, and this is something that I am sorry to say is one activity that I just don't seem to do....or at least remember doing. I did have a dream a few weeks ago that I sort of wrote about in this journal...but honestly...it has been about 20 years since I probably remember one. (other than a few through the years when I had fever sweats breaking....but those were more like nightmares, and I'd rather not go there right now..though some would day that Dreaming about Bob from Bob's furniture might alse be classified that way too)


The Experiment:
So where am I going with this you ask....well, I noted to several people, and on past Journal posts that I seem to do my best thinking in the shower. That is, I seem to relax and pull out some great ideas in the morning...and I can generally decide what I want to think about and viola. (work, hobbies, etc...though there are times when the image that pops into my head is orthoganal to what I am thinking about...it is at least somehow related)

So to put the dreams and shower thoughs together, I was wondering if maybe my shower thoughts were somehow my dreams being released from my inner thoughts.....as though I needed to be protected from my dreams....but the safety and warmth of the shower was an OK place to let them out. (ok...I'm getting a bit too strange with that one.....)

So I was thinking this morning....let's try an experiement. Let's try and think of a topic right now....take a shower and describe whatever I think of in there. (is that strange.....I guess it depends on what I think about.)

I generally think about things that I find important for that day....so there are three things that pop into my head right now. (notice that with me it is never one, and rarely two....but three things that pop into my head...and if there are two, I make up a third....I think I was told at one point that having three things cooking at one time is a good thing....and I am a creature of habit I guess)

So let's see.....how about these:

• How are Kristen and I going to map out our "big adventure" road trip to visit colleges coming up soon.
• Should I get back into some of my robotics hobby stuff....but more specifically, how would I approach the Trinity College Firefighting Robot contest if I were to try it this year?
• How am I going to find new information and stimulus for my money BLOG....

• Odd Thinking: thoughts from the shower
• More thoughts from the shower

• Kristen and my big school hunt adventure:

I'll start here because I actually had the fewest new thoughs about this. My main thought was about how I was going to contact the schools and make appointments...but I of course need to first map out our path from one to another and decide how long we will spend in each area and on the commute itself.

A week sounds like a lot of time, but there are only 4 real days in that week...with the rest being weekend and a holiday. So a careful plan is needed to hit the targets and not make for manic trips between them.

I guess I literally have to treat this like a board layout and essentially do a manhattan estimate of time rather than length.

• The Trinity College Firefighting Robot contest coming up this year:

But even that would be tough....it's not as though I have 40 hours a week to dedicate to this.

Then another thought rushed into my head....how about just going down to watch...scope things out...see what the latest "state of the art" is....I could enter just to have an incentive to go, but only show up with say a motor control that I can work on to the side....but basically to watch.

• Stimulus / Topics for my money BLOG

Current Mood: Things that make you say HMMM.

Waking up Thinking:
As I woke up this morning to my mother in-law leaving the house for home, I thought of all the things I had on my to-do list. (this is how I normally start my day)

Having just drove Kimberly back to school on Thursday, and hearing Kristen go off to work this morning, my thoughts went away from the short term punch list to them and how Cheryl and I had promised we would support them our whole lives.

I know how difficult this all if for me, so I can only imagine it is an order of magnitude worst for them. I say that not because I am so hardened to death and sorry,  but because I have seen my own parents pass away and almost all of my aunts and uncles. Other than Cheryl, Kimberly and Kristen (and one Aunt and Uncle and a few cousins that live far away) I am alone in this world.

I know this sounds odd, and I might be simply saying this incorrectly....but they lost a best friend when they lost their mother. Cheryl would talk to them about things that they just didn't even want to mention to me....and this makes me very worried. I worry because I want the family to be supportive and be helpfull to each other. I know I will never step into Cheryl's shoes, but I want to fulfill our promise to each other....that we would forever support our kids.

More than a Strange Bit of Timing?
There were two instances in the past week that indicate either unreal timing, or some form of devine intervention. I don't know if I mentioned these earlier here, as I have told people off and on during the past weeks.

The first was a set of 4 hand written notes that Kimberly found in Cheryl's dresser about 30 minutes before we were scheduled to go to the wake. I will not go into any details, but they were notes written by Cheryl (in 1998 right after her aunt died suddenly of a heart attack)...one to each of us. (Cheryl's mother, Kimberly, Kristen and I)

When I read the note, it was as if it was written today. She was leaving me a message of hope, talking about what I need to do after she is gone. What I need to do for myself, for the girls, and a few little things that she loves and that let me be reminded of her. (I'm about crying as I type this too)

The timing of Kimberly finding this note was absolutely unreal, and it did not escape us all at that very moment. This is exactly what we needed to hear before such a difficult event, and it was as if Cheryl were handing us this message. (I think she was)

But then last week, another very fortunate bit of timing occured again....again to Kimberly. She had gone on line to find an answer to a question that I had about the protocol for sending out thank-you notes. (We have received probably 400-500 cards and letters, and initially I was going to write a thank-you note to everyone who did anything for us, but I am sorry and at the same time happy to report that I can't possibly do that. Please forgive me if I don't send you a note.)

So one of the online forums where she asked the question had a different sort of reply for her. It was from a woman who was about 25 but had lost her mother in her late teens. She recommended a book written by Hope Edelman called Motherless Daughters. (pictured above)

At the time, Kimberly just stored that thought in her head and went on with things. Then the next day when she went up to the Mall of New Hampshire, she discovered a thrift store on a side street somewhere near the mall. Kim said she normally does not look for books at thrift stores because there are so many of them lined up, but being a new store she had never been to, she wanted to browse the whole store.

When she got to the books, she had been looking at them for perhaps 30 seconds when her eyes were attracted to the very book that was recommended to her. When she pulled it out, sure enough, it was that very book and she KNEW she had to buy it. (I think it was $0.50 or $1.00)

She brought it home, stayed up very late and read it....wanting to finish it before leaving for school so that she could leave it for Kristen to read.

Then yesterday at work, I received an email from a co-worker who had also lost her mother when she was about 15 (if I remember that right) and she recommended a book. At first I didn't recognize the title, but I went over to Amazon and ordered a used copy right away...and when I returned home I saw that this was the same book Kim had been pointed to......so I guess I had just bought the second copy for Kristen.

My Parents Always Said, Just Try to Do Your Best:
What does what my parents taught me about doing my best have to do with this whole situation? Well, they told me this because I would often do things...perhaps in school, and not get the shiny "A+" results I had so hoped for. (or the Little League trophy, etc...)

My mother would tell me that we all have our gifts and our faults. Our job in life is to hone are gifts and use them for good, and to make the world a better place. We were also supposed to work on our faults and try hard to get past them, to not do them.....but in the end, none of us will ever be perfect, so we ultimately have to accept ourselves (and particularly others) faults and all.

It came down to this....."You have to do your best and be happy in the fact that you have done that." That's all anyone can ask of anyone.....to try. My parents used to be really big on trying....but even at that, they knew there may be times when we would stumble and not try enough....but they understood and were always instructing me to "never give up".

So as my father would say, what does that have to do with the price of rice in China? (or more specifically, the situation I am writing about today)

Well, I guess I know I have deficiencies in how I connect with people, and how I will never be able to come close to how Cheryl was able to be with them. My initial tendency is to get very depressed and worried about this.....and that of course will never help. (enough consern to keep me moving forward and trying is ok....but too much worry is always counter-productive and results in a vicious cycle that spirals down....am I making sense???)

So if I could pass on a simple message to myself and our girls is that we simply try our best to stick together and help each other. That we need to be easy on ourselves and any slips or shortcomings, and easy on judging each other for none of us are perfect nor have all the right answers all the time....and that we remember that we are a family and try to never give-up on each other.

I think that is a good message for people in general, and I do hope this post was not too personal for anyone....

Support Sites on the Web:
I know that web based support seems impersonal to me....but one could say the same for reading a book. But it isn't because writing is just a means of communicating...and when we talk about communicating, we are in fact talking about real people sending a message to other real people.....

Anyways, I found a few sites that look kind of interesting.....and I thought I would pass them along.

• The first is a website created by a woman to tell her story and help others.
• The Cross-Cultural Mother Loss site was also written in the same way. To tell a particular person's story and point everyone at great links and resources.
• Motherless Daughters is a site that looks to have been set-up as a project of some sort, and again, it has great stories and links to resources that might be helpful. She even has a sort of email support group too.
• Journey of Hearts is a more generic grieving web site that offers information and support to people who have suffered all sorts of loss. Again, these look like interesting resources.
• The New York City Motherless Daughter Meet-up group. They have 195 members, and it seems they meet every month and have had 31 so far.
• Yahoo Motherless Daughter Support Group - I of course did not join, but I see that they get about 300-600 messages a month and have 1265 members currently.
• Boston Young Widow and Widowers Group - One guy at work and one of our friends in Hudson suggest I might look at some sort of a support group for men who lost their wives. I might just do that. This group is a Boston area meet-up for people from 20-60 suffering the loss of a spouse. But there are only about 15 men in it, so I don't think it would be great for me.

Current Mood: To try our best is all...

Ok, so the picture to the left was of Kristen quite a few years ago...but we are talking about one and the same! Kristen came home thinking she had 4 A grades and one A minus.....but she just went online and looked them up, and she pulled out all A's!

Her GPA is clearly listed as 4.0!

Wow....congrats to my youngest scholar! Great work....I knew you had it in you....Keep up the good work.

She tells me that having achieved this she has been invited to a dinner with the President of the school......very cool. (take pictures.....huh??!!)

Then I also have to mention that I brought Kimberly back to school yesterday. (Pratt Institute) She is a junior and I'm so proud of her dedication and work ethic. She apparently had a few very challanging design and lab situations come up last semester, and she pulled through it with flying colors. Kim is sometimes a bit hard on herself, but I guess she is a perfectionist. (Yea, the picture of Kim to the right isn't from the trip yesterday.....but from quite a few years back...1985 when she was one month old!)

I love both of my daughters honesty, work ethic and desire to do a good job and not just get the grade,  but learn something. (My dad used to tell me to never simply go to school for the sheepskin.....it's what you get inside your head that counts the most in the long term)

Two great kids.....I am so blessed.

Can you tell I am a proud dad :-)

Current Mood: Super Psyched!

I guess it has been a fairly stress filled week with plenty of activity as well. Even more than that, it has not been a particularly happy week, and that will wear you down all by itself.

I have been looking at colleges with Kristen tonight, because she is looking for a better Anthropology program than is being offered at Hofstra.

Hofstra is a good school, but it doesn't really have a great Anthropology program. (Kristen applied there initially as a business major, and changed majors when she accepted)

Cheryl was working with Kristen for the past few weeks to try and identify a school that they could visit during the week of January 13th....so I am going to try and keep that commitment. The only problem is that we have not yet identified the school, and I must admit to knowing very little about Anthropology myself. (So I can't tell a good program from a bad one)

I actually thought the Anthropology program at the University of Massachusetts Amherst looked pretty darn good. But then again, I know nothing about this area of study. Kristen was looking at George Mason University and the University of Virginia.

But in this search, I feel so much less than useful. I know so little about what to look for, and this is where having Cheryl to bat ideas back and forth was so great. (I suppose my thoughts will always come back to that, right?)

Anthropology looks to me to be such a broad description for a large number of areas of study. I suppose that is no different than say Electrical Engineering.....so I guess a school with a good broad set of foundation classes in that department is the key. But what would those be?

I suppose I am just tired right now.....and I think Kristen is too. A little sleep tonight should do me just fine.

Tomorrow I am scheduled to serve at church...again being scheduled with Cheryl, so I hope someone will fill in. (I have no called anyone...I was just plain busy and plum forgot)

Oh yuck, I have been gaining weight over the last three days....and it isn't very pretty. I have to cut back my consumption.....I have simply been over eating. (I did lose a lot of weight about a week ago for a reason that  I dare not even mention here.....so I will NOT)


One last thought.....what to do for New Years night is still up in the air. I think Kim is going over to see a friend at Keene State, and Kristen and I are still uncommitted. I was thinking of going in for  First Night Boston....but I just don't feel all that happy and jolly right now. (I don't suppose I should expect to be all jolly given what happened I guess.....)

Maybe Kristen and I can go over to First Night Portsmouth....she might like to see the Beatles Sound a-like band called "All Together Now". Here are some samples of their work....and this is a 13 minute MP3 compilation of their work.

No matter what we decide to do, I am very glad I'm not alone for New Years.....

Current Mood: Got to get my beauty sleep!

I have not checked the weather, but I think it will be fine.....

So I'm off to pick up Kristen at school...and sort of unofficially kick-off my Christmas Holiday season.

As usual, have camera will travel....

Current Mood: On my way