Another year is almost behind is, though this one is a bit more special in so many ways.

First of all, this isn't just the end of another year, but it is the end of a decade....but not any decade, the starting decade of the 21st century.

For me as a kid, the 21st century was the one that was supposed to usher in all the fantastic futuristic benefits of the future. You know.....as in the movie 2001 and other future-centric works.

THE BIG PICTURE:
We remember the possibility of the flying car, the cure for cancer, the days that food was a plenty.

Well, when we look back, the stuff we have isn't exactly what we dreamed they would be, but the changes have been fantastic....but you know what, most of us probably take them for granted.

We do have strides in all sorts of disease, including Cancer. We have many medical advances, and human life expectancy continues to get longer. Our food from a pill dreams were silly, right?...Don't we love the taste and companionship we have when we eat together with others?....and while food isn't as plentiful as we hoped, it probably could be since it really does come to us from all over the globe.....so we must be within spitting distance of getting it to all that are hungry. (sometimes that is simply a matter of our going to a local city and donating to the food pantry too)

Travel in space isn't what we had dreamed....but come on folks, air travel is so inexpensive these days that most people in the USA can find a way to afford travel to places around the world that even the wealthy could not get to in centuries past. (Think of the time and effort taken to settle the west.....or traveling by camel in the time of Jesus)

But why travel when you can communicate and share with people all around the world via internet of phone. The world of communications is one that we just take for granted......as if people could always make calls or send emails across the globe at all hours of the day.

Regular people like you and I can publish our ideas, dreams and desires and make them available to billions of people on the internet via BLOGS, Webpages and Social Network sites like FACEBOOK and TWITTER. These were things that only the wealthy could do only a generation before.....while these were not all INVENTED in the last decade, they certainly became widely available and used.

Imagine that, we "average people" can speak our mind, work on causes, rally with others for a purpose.....we have tools like never before that empower us....it was as if Gutenberg reached out and gave us all personal printing presses.  

We can get involved with others not only on our street, or in our town....but across the state, country and world! We have little excuse for being part of the solution, right! (though it is always easier to blame it on others and stay in our shell....perhaps that will never change)

OUR COUNTRY:
To me, we appear to have had a tough decade. As we moved into the year 2000 we were afraid that computers and power plants would melt down with the feared Y2K Millennium Bug...they didn't, but soon in March of 2000 our high tech industry did with the .COM bubble/crash! (and our stock market and high tech economy was in tough shape)

Then on September 11th, 2001, we were attacked in a way that as never happened to the USA, and there was much fear and worry. It was a very difficult time, and at the same time....I found it to be a time where people seemed to pull together and care for each other again. No, it wasn't utopia nor perfect, but you could see people connect on a more personal and caring level. People felt vulnerable and even looked to God. I don't want to say it was a wonderful time, because the fear and worry was high....but looking back it was good to see people come together and back to their faith.

Then in 2006, our financial house of cards came crashing down with what is not called the popping of the Housing Bubble. To me it was sort of a giant Ponze scheme built on US banks giving out bad (NO DOC) loans to people who could not really afford the house they were buying and any US citizens using their homes as big ATM machines financial industries did instead. None of this should be surprising, I mean since the USA has been a (IMHO) a sort of selfish, "What's in it for me" place as of late......and not just that, but we have become an instant gratification nation....profits NOW....new clothes NOW.....new car NOW...fast food burger NOW.....you name it, we want it now.

This lead to our mortgaging our future by using our homes as huge ATMs, until our savings rate finally slipped below zero and we became the largest debtor nation in history....and then the bubble burst.

But not all is lost....we still have a wonderful representative democracy and while we seem to be willing to trade our freedoms away at times, we do still have it good here. In fact, the greatness of the USA comes from our diversity....and in this diversity are the people, personalities and ideals needed to make things better.

Perhaps the frugal and loving nature of the Amish will surface and show us the way.....perhaps creative, hard working ingenuity of  another ethnic or social group will show us the way.....either way. I have faith that those values and ideas that are BEST for the worlds future are here in our country (because we have always been open and free to allowing people and ideas here)....and those will rise up and lead the world to a better place.

So, I am positive we will come out of our 10% unemployment, difficult times at some point. Our grandparents had much worst in the 1929 depression.....and we can use them as the model for getting through this.

We will probably be more of a saving nation, perhaps a more humble people.....perhaps less obsessed with having it ALL and having it NOW.

MY OWN WORLD:
My decade has been one of good and not so good......my daughters have gone into and through High School, through college and now out into the world as adults. (still on their travels) Our family has taken a tragic loss with the death of my wife Cheryl. I know there are other highs and lows, but those two things stick out in my mind much more than any other.

Cheryl was with us for just over half of the decade, and that is a blessing that must not be forgotten. She will live in all our hearts and memories forever and so if we are smart, will allow Cheryl's goodness continue to guide our lives forward.

Our kids Kimberly and Kristen going out on their own is something that Cheryl and I worked toward since they were born, and so it is a real joy.....not that we wanted them gone and away.....no, not at all....I always want them in my life and me in theirs.....but as our parents wanted for us, we wanted to see our daughters grow up and have an even better life than we did. I suppose this is sort of programmed into us as parents...

But don't get me wrong, the decade boundary doesn't mark a particular milestone or goal of our family's journey together....but is only a reflection point, a pin in the calendar when we take a snapshot assessment of a much larger time continuum.... for we have always treasured the idea of family and that isn't something marked in time or even generations. It probably isn't even demarcated by life and death because as long as we have photographs, stories and memories, then we can in some way connect with each other and even those we have lost.

I know I have readers who don't have the same belief in God that I do, and I don't think that is so bad. In fact, I don't think God needs people to worship, but offers worship as a way to help us...but that is another post for another time. (if I have not already done it :-)

God is pretty important to me, and I suppose that has come from the loss I have personally felt in life...starting with my parents and now my wife. In fact, it was my mother who was so in love with God and who planted that seed in me in my younger years. When she passed away in the late 90's, her lessons and love of God began to grow in me and together with my own family (Wife and kids) was able to give me purpose and get me through the rough patch.

That same dynamic came to life when Cheryl passed away.....yes, in both cases I had lots of support from friends and family....but I think my feeling and faith in God were major support structures in my life.

My father's Mass Card had the "Footprints" poem (one of these versions) which reminds us that God is always with us....and at times is there to carry us when we can not move forward ourselves. That is a powerful message and one that really helps me.....and again, my mother was the one who chose that for my dad....she really was a special woman, and perhaps in cases like this guided by God. (for my sake and the for others I am sure)

So my love of God is real and oh so helpful to me. I have heard people say that God is only there for the weak who need such support.....I suggest that while they might make such a comment as a knock against believers....their words may in fact be more inspired by God that they know.....for as I have said before, I don't think God needs us at all....but provides the love and support we need because God loves us. (why would the ever-powerful creator NEED our worship.....God could have simply commanded it, but instead gave us free will and continued to offer the support and love needed to help us....to carry is when we need it....as the Footsteps poem reminds me)

But we need to take it and accept it from God. We do this seeking and accepting by worshiping and being God's hands on earth. (sharing the gifts given us)

It all seems to clear to me at times....and oh so difficult to put into practice at other times.....but then I am only human.

I would be remiss in forgetting the other great joy of the past decade, though it was one that came from the great loss I spoke of above. This joy is my meeting and falling in love with my Fiancee Doreen.

I am sure Doreen

I am excited about the future and it is only difficult writing this because it is all such new and unknown waters to me, and because I so want to do right for Doreen, Kimberly, Andrew, Kristen and Sarah.

Current Mood: Happy and Hopeful

My daughter Kristen had her graduation ceremony from University of Tennessee in Knoxville today, and I was one proud daddy!

She walked with about 1600 other students in the Lady VOL's stadium on campus. (which is about the size of the Verizon Center in Manchester, NH)

She walked with about 1600 fellow students, and the ceremony was great. I know how hard she worked to get here, and as I said, I am one proud father.

I am working to upload photos and videos of not only the graduation but the whole weekend too! All in all, it was a blast, and now Kristen is on the the rest of her life....where surely she will continue to work hard, and do good.

I love both my girls, and while I know their age they are always going to be my girls....and they are both so grown up..

Current Mood: happy

The old saying is that Freedom isn't Free, and I have to agree with that. It is on the backs of proud Americans that we continue to have some of the Liberties that we do.

But the American's who have literally fought for our country have been the many veterans who have served in our armed forces.

We owe those people a debt of gratitude,

Is our country perfect.....no it isn't, but we are only human after all. But even if our military is commanded to do something we do not appreciate, try to remember that it isn't the doing of the boots on the ground. They are there for all the good reasons....and they are often thrown into situations that no one wants to see happen.

So please try to never blame the soldier.

Speaking of honorable people, Art at work was telling me about a WWII Army soldier  named Desmond Doss. To me, the story of Desmond is one that is very inspiring to me. It inspires me first because of his great bravery as a medic, and his love of human kind and country. But the thing that absolutely amazes me was that Desmond did all this as a conscientious objector. He seemed to love his country, and the record shows that he cared for people....but his faith told him it was WRONG to kill.....so he refused to carry a weapon or to harm anyone.


And perhaps it WAS this intense love and respect for life that lead him to have such a strong  dedication to helping his fellow soldiers and saving so many lives single handedly. It was said that unlike so many  Medal of Honor recipients, Doss didn't just perform a single heroic feat of bravery....he did this all through his tour of duty. 

I recommend you read his story.....it is the story of a single man, and while he might have done some extraordinary things, these represent the bravery that many who have served  have had. The movie below is a few snippits from the documentary made on Doss.

Current Mood: pleased

Today is my daughter Kimberly's birthday, and even though she is now 24 years old, she is still my big girl. My mom used to say this about me all the time.....no matter how old she gets, I will always remember her as my big girl.

That's not to say I don't see who she is....independent, a grown woman. No, in fact I am proud of her. I am proud of her work all through life as she is a very dedicated worker who always tries to improve herself and do her best.

But  Kim is more than just self-motivated....she could be that and  also very selfish too. But Kimberly is NLT selfish and self-centered.....she is a very caring and giving person. So I am especially happy that she is doing well in NYC, the place she wants to be!

I don't think I am going out on a limb when I say that I am sure both Cheryl and my mom are also looking at Kimberly with such pride and happiness. They were both key role models in Kim's life, and excellent teacher all the way through.

I for one an oh so proud of how Kimberly takes the bull by the horns and moves forward. If she is afraid or pensive about some of what she does, she hides it well. I was never as strong when I was her age, and I think that she is wonderful.

As her dad, I am also so happy when she calls me with a question or a bit of advice. While I love her independence, I am also happy that she cares enough about me to not only keep me informed but to ask me for things, advice or help. I love helping, and hope she never stops asking.

So what do I do for my 24 year old grown "big girl".....no neighborhood friends birthday party any more.....she is all grown and on her own.. Well, I did send her a card with a small gift, and I'll surely call to wish her a Happy Birthday and chat for a while. I'll say a prayer too, thanking God tor giving Cheryl and me the great gift of two wonderful kids, and for the wonderful time we all had as they grew up.

Life is far from over....and I'm sure that the future will hold as many wonderful memories as the past....so I wish my big girl a very Happy Birthday with many more in the future. I am looking forward to watching my big girl make her way through life.

I Love you Kimberly....as embaressing as it might be, you are my "wiggle worm", and I love you so!

Current Mood: happy

Tomorrow is the first time that First Congregational Church of Leicester will go to pray with and eat with the Congregation of the Worcester Fellowship, and since Doreen and I are the organizers...I am hoping I've done all I need to to be ready and to have a successful event.

Yes, I want to make sure we bring the right amount of food...but I also want all the volunteers in Leicester to have a good time and understand how much their efforts are appreciated....not  just by the people coming to the service and meal, but by me and I believe by the Congregational Church itself because I think the mission of all churches is outreach, and the hearts, hands and soul of these volunteers are actually the hands of God in action.

So I pray that God gives me the proper words or actions needed to make sure all involved feel appreciated and understand the good works being done.

After tomorrow's 10:00am service we will be getting together to make sandwiches, pack totes with snacks, sandwiches and drinks after which a group of us takes all of the above to Worcester for the service and subsequent meal,

Please pray for our effort.

Current Mood: grateful

Last night was the wake for Nick Mandella and today was the funeral. I attended both out of respect for Nick, his family and all the people at First Congregational Church in Leicester. It is true that I only knew nick a few months, but he was one of the first people to pull me in and sort of pull me under his wing....when he did this, it made me feel like I belonged.....I wasn't just looking in from the outside.....I felt I was helping and welcome as well.

Everyone at the church has been great, but Nick was my first contact....and while he told me quite a few stories about his life, I found out during the wake and funeral that Nick had many more aspects about his life he didn't talk to me about....he was a great guy who was the real deal....and his friends and family knew it.

At the wake last night, I saw the love and affection that I felt at my mom and wife's wake. Nick was clearly loved, and he clearly loved people. I was quite moved not only by the number of people who came.....but the stories I was hearing so many tell of things that Nick had done.....helpful things, loving things, a friend and helper to many and a calm and caring person.

Oh, and it was clear that these same people who loved Nick (friends and family) were also nice people....and so I decided I had to come down for the funeral.....to honor Nick, and to honor and respect the people who he left behind.

Wakes and funerals are sad events....and I don't know anyone that will ever say they love or enjoy them. I don't think they are meant to be enjoyed, but I do think they have a valuable place in out lives. I am not even sure how they work, but the wakes and funerals that have happened in my family have given me a closer connection to the others left and much more of a sense of closure.

I suppose it puts everyone on the same page....brings everyone up to date.....connects everyone at least at the moment of the event itself...and the outpouring of stories and love for the person that died can't help but ground people what it means to be good in life.

I also find them useful because I honestly believe that I don't pray enough.....and I feel my job at these events is to pray as much as I can for the deceased, but even more importantly, for those left behind. I feel such a connection with God and those in my family that have gone already that it makes the back of my neck and the hair on my head tingle.

As I prayed at the wake last night, I always pray asking that one of my relatives who have died be allowed to meet Nick, befriend him and sort of give him the $0.50 tour.....I don't know what the protocol is, but I imagine that there are many new things and while I'm sure there are plenty of friendly faces to help....I ask my relatives, I guess sort of as an extension of myself.

Anyways....my first thoughts were that my Uncle Joe or perhaps my Uncle Jimmy would be perfect to befriend Nick.....My Uncle Jimmy having been in the Air Force and my Uncle Joe having something almost in common because he was a Merchant Marine who could not swim. (I learned that Nick was afraid of heights, yet he was a member of the Army 101st Airborne 'Screaming Eagles" and made several jumps while serving in Vietnam!)

But as I prayed on this, I was sort of "felt" that my Dad would really love to see Nick and would be the one. I was thrilled not just because I thought Nick was going to be in good hands, and because I felt they had sort of similar personalities....but I was also thrilled because this was the first time I had felt the spirit tell me that my Dad would be the candidate. It isn't that I have been to many funerals, but when I pray for help or support I often get the feeling that my mom or Cheryl would be trying to provide the guidance.....I was thrilled to feel my Dad this time around.

Current Mood: praying

Well, today was not the worst day of my life for sure....but it has been a difficult day to day the least. I think that writing might help me put things into perspective and help me feel better.

My last post talked about a fellow I knew at First Church in Leicester, and a great guy too. As I noted before, he welcomed me in and took me under his wing and helped me be (and feel) useful during the Concerts on the Common. I had met others before Nick, but he was about the first to engage me.

So his passing is a shock to me.....sure, not as much as to his friends of many years, or especially his family....but having had a bit of loss in the past, his passing brought some of those thoughts to the forefront.

So today was a bit of an emotional roller coaster of sorts for me.

It started off with my going to church (actually a lovely service) and after during the coffee social time some of the sadness about Nick came out....and I began to think.

I thought of how my wife Cheryl had died like Nick, suddenly of a massive heart attack....ditto for my dad on the couch back in '97. I remembered how alone I felt when my mom died....even though I still had my wife and kids.....and I again felt alone and lost when Cheryl passed away.

My circumstances today especially fed this feeling because I stayed back at the church to fix the slow-boot problem the computer was having. I was alone, and it would not have been half bad except my progress at solving the problem was ZERO.....I felt alone and powerless....almost lost....a very similar feeling to what I felt before....with no one to call and talk to.

Kristen called me in the middle of my work, and that actually made me feel a lot better.....but I didn't load my problem thoughts on her...well, not most of them except for the uneasiness I feel for my job these days.

Kristen was actually very reassuring to me about my being able to get a better job out in the Leicester area....and that actually made me feel better.

I called people at about the rate of one every 30 minutes, and they were either not home, or suffering with a recent death of their own.....it was not a good situation, for any of us.

But I did finally get the computer problem resolved (about 4 hours later) and at least went on my way home having felt I had accomplished a small victory. But I still felt alone.

I almost decided to go into work tonight, but that didn't seem like a good idea....I would just be alone there and I'm not sure how productive I would have been.

I am looking forward to a call from Doreen later. We spoke a little earlier, as she was traveling in between appointments. (her mother in-law had a relative die....and I found the same when I called my mother in-law Florence.....so it seems like a very bad week for people passing on)

Nick's wake is tomorrow night, and I am hoping to go.

I guess sometimes the part of life we thought we had worked through come back up. That's OK because moments like these serve to remind me how good I had it then....and how good I have it now to. I think with thoughts like that, I have a chance of not taking anything for granted and trying to take care of the people I love while we are all alive and feeling good. (easier said than done)

I suggest everyone take a moment, reach out and kiss / say I love you to the people you love.

Current Mood: contemplative

This morning I got word that Nick, a wonderful guy that I only new a few months, had died of a heart attack.

I have to admit to no knowing Nick very long, or very well, but he did have a special place in my life even so. He was the first person I worked with at The First Congregational Church in Leicester. I first worked with Nick making popcorn for the concerts on the common....and he sort of took me under his wing.

I admit to not knowing him for very long, but I found him to be a wonderful, kind and caring person. He apparently loved photography (taking ribbons at the Harvest Fair contest), and also seemed to like Apple Pie. (being a judge at the Harvest Festival and then buying pies after the contest.)

He like many of the others at the Leicester church was very much in love with his church, and with the town and history both. Nick and I spent a lot of time talking about all the activities past and present within the church and town....all while we worked as a team making popcorn.

I believe he was the church photographer, taking photos of all the church events and posting them to the church website. He was an avid 35mm photographer who had just recently begun talking about going into the digital age of photography.

As I said....I knew him very little....but even for that short time, it was clear to me that Nick was a great guy. I will miss him, and will keep him in my thoughts when I do anything even remotely related to the church....he was one of my first mentors there.

I hope his family and friends are comforted by God in their time of loss.

I don't know how Heaven works, but I'd bet that Nick would be asking for permission to be with and help those he left here. He seems like that kind of guy....caring, sensitive and unselfish.

God Bless you Nick.

Current Mood: sad

The past two days I have felt run down and sick. My day starts out just fine, but at about noon I would start to get all kinds of muscle pain and a general run down feeling.

This is quickly followed by off and on chills, and of course an on and off fever.

Yesterday I took a nap at about 3:00pm and that let me tough it out until about 9:00pm. But today I decided I would take off at about 3:00pm when the chills and tired feeling started creeping upon me.

This morning I started drinking my Juice regiment, as well as taking mega-dose of vitamins. (three big multi's in the morning, and three at dinner time)

Today I also came home and cranked up a big pot of chicken soup.

Does chicken soup work.....who knows, but any advantage, even if just a mental one that gets me thinking more positively can't hurt.....I heal when I KNOW my body is strong.

I have another 20 minutes or so before my creation is complete.....I am bout to go down and separate the chicken from the bones....and just wait it all out to be done.

What did I put in it.....what did I NOT is the question...let me try and remember.

• Chicken (duh :-)
• Diced Tomato in tomato juice
• Carrots
• Parsnips
• Rudibaga
• Onion
• Celery
• Cabbage
• Mushrooms
• Garlic
• Olive Oil
• Orange Juice
• Soy Sauce
• Corn (from a can)
• Broccoli
• Collard Greens
• Red Kidney Beans
• Black Beans
• Oregano

Current Mood: excited

Never give us is probably always a good way to live....but in this post, I am specifically talking about keeping the faith and a strong positive attitude when a friend or loved one is sick, or even close to the end.

We humans are stronger than you think....and our bodies are capable of some amazing things!

This afternoon I was at work in the lab talking with a couple of friends / co-workers, when one other came over and in a very sad tone told us the story of his sick mother just recently admitted to assisted living home, and suffering from dementia.

She is often in and out and will often get angry with him and call him all sorts of nasty things. He feels very bad for his mother because he loves her so much and can't bear to see her this way.

He goes to see her every day (before and after work), talks and helps her to do so many things....and often times she does not recognize him and yells for him to leave.

He worries that his mother will never see or react to him again...that she has effectlvely died mentally and is only being kept alive physically.

I tried my best to suggest that he not give up on her so easily....that the human brain and spirit is very powerful and that I would bet that the same person he came to love is most likely still functioning.....though perhaps now only down deep inside his mom.....and that this person inside her is still just as bright eyed and "with it" as she was in times gone by.

I shared with him two stories I have witnessed in life that simply amazed me.

First I told the story of my mom who had cancer and while in the hospital seemed to be at deaths door. So close that at one point the attending nurse told me she would only be alive another couple of minutes or so. I was crushed and at which point I pulled up a chair, held my mom's hand, told her I loved her and proceeded to tell her all kinds of stories of my life with her....

To make a long story short, the next morning my mother was awake, sitting in bead eating breakfast. If that isn't exciting enough, the next bit will shock you. As she was waking up, I told her how happy I was that she was looking better and how close she was to death.

She then told me that she remembers my sitting down and holding her hands....and she then went on to tell me several of the stories I had told her at that point. She repeated the stories to me, and tole me what she was thinking as she listened! I was floored to say the least!

She told me that she could hear me, and that she was trying to talk back but she knew I could no hear. As she came out of her coma, she slowly started to speak. (she passed away two days later...but the extra two days sure seemed like a miracle to me)

In my next story I told my friend about a man I encountered at the Hunt Community Center when I was working there part time as a security guard. (in 2004 when I had been laid off) This man was a client with Alzhiemers in the ward at Hunt Memorial for people with it. I saw this man and said hello every night as I did my rounds. He would normally just sit at his chair watching TV. His name was "hoppy" and he had Alzhiemers.

Well, after about 4 months of going through the room and saying hi to him (and his not even looking back) this one night I went in and as I said hello, he turned to me and welcomed me.....asked me how I was and thanked me for always saying hello every night.

We went on to have a wonderful 5 minute conversation about how he liked the place, how the nurses were great and how they let him watch TV which he loved.

For the next two months, I never saw Hoppy as lucid and clear.....but I knew he was alive and alert, and my respect for people in this state jumped up 100 fold.....

So NEVER GIVE UP!

Current Mood: contemplative

I believe I have a pretty level temperament, and am pretty cool and calm. I don't think I've always been this way, but have learned what I feel is a certain discipline where I can regulate emotions.....at least on the outside. I admit to still feeling the worry, sadness and disappointment deep inside, but I will more often than not just "take it".....I believe the saying is "Take on for the team".

I know that sounds horrible to some people, but I've learned that this is the best thing for the short and long term....and best of all, I have a short memory for disappointment and a great capacity to let things roll off my back. So I take advantage of my strength and "absorb" stuff at times. I admit that I do it at times physically, and at times mentally.

Why do I feel compelled to write about this, well I suppose I write many of these posts to let people know a bit about me...and to let myself explore myself and my thoughts.

A long time ago I was told by Cheryl that I needed to be more of a feeling person.....I made too many choices and decisions based on logic and via a logical process......I suppose my choice to do all of the above is the result of exactly that "flaw"......I choose to because I am a long term planner....and in the long run, a little pain now for less later (like forever later) is a no-brainer. I've seen people say or do things that quite simply ruin their lives.....something as stupid as an emotional outburst that causes them to say or worst DO something that is just plain unacceptable....and a relationship is forever damaged.....or they are thrust into the legal system.....or into a life of crime. (I know that sounds way over the top...and it could actually be....but you get the idea.)

I'm far from perfect.....I'm not saying I will NEVER get fed up and snap.....I do have a large capacity to absorb pain and disappointment....but I know it isn't unlimited. (I'm proud of my discipline, but I'm not supernatural)

I do think that Cheryl would be proud of my strength and desire to do the best not just for myself but for my considering the importance I put on my friends and people I relate to. (and not a selfish act)...but I think she would also remind me to connect more with my emotions....let things "come out" every now and then.

But you know what.....I think my strengths and weaknesses are pretty well balanced and I have cultivated my strengths so that the compliment or cover my weaknesses. That's hopefully the least humble thing I will say.....

For more "fun" info on me....look at an old "Johari Window" some of my friends did with/on me. (including Cheryl...hover over the results and see who said what about me.)

Take this True Friend Test too....see how much you know about me! :-)

Current Mood: contemplative

REMEMBERING SEPTEMBER 11, 2001:

Today is September 11th, and a day I will certainly never forget so long as I draw a breath.

It was like the day we landed on the moon...or the day the space shuttle blew up....or the day Kennedy was shot.....if you were over 10 years old you know where you were on those days!

I was in the parking lot of Kentron Technologies listening to Howard Stern....who was just down the street from Ground Zero was was actually reporting on it as it was happening.

I BLOGGED about this several times several years ago, and those entries in 2006 and 2008 have insights into what I remember about that day in 2001 and the 2008 page specifically has links to the audio of all those Stern shows. (here is the breaking news announcement from his show)

No matter what you thought of Stern, (and I'm not sure why I used to listen at this point) this was his greatest moment.

As for that September 11th, everyone at Kentron spent the day watching the TV in shock. It felt like the start of WWIII to me, that's what I remember feeling. (and you know the events between then and now have not exactly been the best in worlds history, so when we look back 100 years from now I suspect it will seem like a very lost decade...and 2001 had not only the 9/11 twin towers attacks, but the Anthrax attacks too!)

It was a day of horrors, and a day of heros too....all in the same place side by side. This is what I remember most....it was the start of a time where we respected the work and heroism of average people doing what we once considered average jobs....but jobs that help when we are in far from typical situations.

Even if only for a short time, our country seemed to respect the labors of people like the police, fire and the other various first responders. That respect lasted about 12 months, and it was good.

It seems that everyone in the USA knew a victim of the 9/11 events....either in the planes or in the buildings. It touched so many so closely. Our daughters were friends of one of the pilots, John Ogonowski, and it was it was very hard for that family to get through that time. Here are several tributes to John that describe him a lot better than I ever could. (Wiki, 9/11 Wiki Tribute, a legacy.com site, then a Victims site page )

PS: Here is a page outlining some of the events and reactions as they happened at Sun Microsystems around September 11th, 2001. They had an office in the World Trade Center with about 350 people.....fortunately, all in the office survived.

Current Mood: contemplative

No Excuses.....

I'm not sure there is but a single reason.....work has certainly been a big factor with all the tension and uncertainty. But it would be unfair to blame my last of posting on Larry Ellison and Oracle.

I have been posting like crazy to Facebook, but that is so easy since it is just sort of bing, bang....in and out....sort of a micro-blog.

Anyways.....I am back, and I hope a bit more regular both here and at my money blog.

Current Mood: indescribable

I was riding home from Leicester tonight and popped in the Best of REM CD and as it was playing it got to song #8, Everybody Hurts, and as it played it brought back memories of a day back in December 2006 when I was riding around in my car and listening to this song over and over and over and over......

I drove for a long time....listening and remembering the 25 years that my just recently deceased wife Cheryl had lived together. (We met on Friday, November 27, 1981 and she died on December 21, 2006) Tonight when I heard that song....I played it over about 3 times, and remembered that day in December 2006 where I did the same. That night in 2006 I just rode around, listened, remembered and cried.

Tonight I also thought about Cheryl, but I mostly thought about that night....and how sad I was as I drove and played this over and over......I felt that sadness again tonight.

Except tonight it wasn't a lasting sadness, as it actually turned into a realization that I have a great life......I'm feeling great now, and while I do miss Cheryl still, I've come to realize that not only is she in a better place, but that my life is good too. Tonight I was almost sad for that guy who had sat alone in his car in December 2006 and cried and felt so all alone. That guy was me....and I remembered that feeling.

The lyrics that struck me then and now are those that talk about feeling alone:

Current Mood: remenbering

Anyone have issues with a utility company.....oh, like perhaps Verizon?

Have you ever gotten the run-around.....filled with promises of a solution....promises of great service....phone calls filled with empathy only to find out the work they said was done was no where to be seen.

Have you ever felt used and abused.....

Doreen and I worked with Verizon for about a month and a half to get her DSL turned on after Verizon mistakenly turned it off. We literally spent tens of hours on the phone working it all out....promised time and time again that it would be fixed in an day....in an hour....heck, it's working right now!

Well....about 45 days later and it was still broken.

Here is the Dilbert cartoon that I found that speaks directly to this situation!